i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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