nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
