Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
