Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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