I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
