If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
my liver is dry heaving
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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