We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
