She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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