I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
