Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
