I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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