I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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