I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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