I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
