Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize
