I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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