I want to stick my p in your. b.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize