I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
