I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
