Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
