Christians are straight up FREAKS
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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