We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
