4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
