He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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