fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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