Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
