So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
