is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
