you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
