Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
