That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
