A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
