oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i think i have two assholes
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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