Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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