when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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