Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
