WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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