Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
