Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
