is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
