he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
