Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
