You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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