This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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