dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
