My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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