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I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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