You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
