She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
