So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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