Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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