Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
