She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
