and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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