i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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