Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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