Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
