Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
