So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize