he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
