So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
