I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
