Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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