I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
