We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
