Do vagina's smell?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
