I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
