no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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